For the 3rd time we are disappointed that I'm not pregnant. Mr.A & I have been trying for 3 months now & still no baby. It's harder than I thought. It also doesn't help that everyone is nagging us about it. The pressure is just too much and it's coming from all fronts. I don't even have the heart to tell my mom that I got my period again and that she would have to wait another month.

It's frustrating really. I'm not getting any younger and so are my parents. We have decided to visit an OBGYN and Urologist this coming month. I'm getting desperate and I can't help but get irritated with Mr. A because of this. I don''t want to blame him but sometimes I can'thelp it. Iget irritated with myself too.

A friend of mine suggested that I get some exercise. I think I'll try that this week.

[MeOw!]

Dreamt about Mr. B last night. For this new blog this is the first time I mentioned him. So lemme just give him a small introduction. Mr. B is my bestfriend who I believe I feel in love and lust with. Our chemistry was so powerful and beyond words that everytime we're together I feel like we're going to cause a nuclear explosion.

So I'm sure you guys are asking why we're not together then. I can answer that in 2 words: MR. A. Mr. A was my childhood sweetheart & we've been together for I believe 4 or 5 years already when I met Mr. B. So ever since I met him there really was no possibility of being "together."

I did consider it, breaking up with Mr. A and going with Mr. B. However, I thought it would be foolish to drop a current long term relationship, that had a future, to the flavor of the month.

So after almost 11 years of dating (2 years of that being engaged), I finally married Mr. A. We went through a lot together & believe me for some time I thought of leaving him for Mr. B. But we did prevail & now he's my husband.

However, the thought of Mr. B never left my mind. He is my one "what if" that I think I'll always wonder about.

We spent some wonderful times together,I'll talk about that some other time. The chemistry we had & we still have is left... how should I put it...unfulfilled.

Anyways, the thought of him always makes me happy & dreaming about him is a nice way to start my Saturday morning.

[MeOw!]